Kamdyn starts 1st grade tomorrow. I can hardly believe it. She is so ready. Why am I not? It really seems like yesterday that she was Karcie's age and I was chasing her around the house. Why do they have to grow up so quickly? I look back and wonder if I really savored every moment like I should have. Did I hold her enough, rock her enough, sing to her enough, read to her enough? Then, I look at what a sweet, smart, witty, compassionate, and all-around great little girl she has become and realize that I must have done some things right. Was I perfect? No. Am I perfect now? No. But, I tried to do everything that I could to make her feel loved so that she would become independent and strong, but tender hearted and caring at the same time.
It's hard being a working Mom! I struggle with the first day of school since having children EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. I don't want to go back to work because I don't want to miss a thing. I want to volunteer in her classroom. I want to volunteer in our school. It seems as if this would be easy since I am there, but I am so busy doing my own job that there isn't any time left over.
Now that we have Karcie, I think I am struggling with starting back to work even more. I know that she is our last baby. This is it! I can't turn back time. I will never get these precious moments back. And I know that in the upcoming weeks, months, and soon-to-be year that we will be rushed and racing the clock. There won't be enough time for me to truly enjoy my family as I would like. I will work hard to find the proper balance, but it just never seems to be enough.
I HAVE to learn to let go a little.....well, A LOT!! Do I need to be a perfect teacher? No, but I want to be. Will I ever be a perfect Mommy? No, but I want to be. Can I be a perfect wife? We know the answer to this question, too.
As I prepare for Kamdyn to start first grade tomorrow and for myself to begin another year as a Kindergarten teacher, my goal is to LET IT GO and ENJOY EVERY SINGLE MOMENT!!
We'll see how it goes......
Family Fun
2 years ago
2 comments:
I know your babies realize you are an awesome Mom and love you more than words, just as you are an awesome teacher. Its what you did your entire childhood, played babies and school. Time does fly by for everyone and we can all look back and wonder if it was enough. Look at Kamdyn and your answer can be Yes! Just as I look at you and wonder was it enough. I can say Yes! Look at the wonderful Mom, Teacher and Wife you are. Just continue to Love & Enjoy. You have an awesome family.
I'm sure she did well! Although I cannot believe how big she is getting!!!
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